my biological maternity clock has ran out of [double] d batteries a loooong time ago. and trust me im in no f*cking rush to replace them.
don’t get be wrong. I like those little runts. but at the end of the day, I like the option of giving them back to its rightful owners (parentals). pretty much im all for that return policy.
so when you hit my age of 10 x 3, you are swarming with pregnant people or people with kids. barf.
which means ive been to babies r us or buy buy baby or baby bucktooth buy r us blah blah blah baby a gazillion times looking for those neverending (and excruciating) baby showers I must attend. so I’d like to say ive become some sorta baby gifting guru.
so when I awoke at 4am last night (and no, not to boob feed my phantom baby. I had to tinkle so bad my bod tole me to wake my @ss up) I couldn’t go back to sleep. naturally I turned on the tv, and of course the only thing on was infomercials. which I knew for sure would put me to sleep. informmericals like the adult lullaby. well in my world.
apparently the inventors of magic bullet make the baby bullet now. a whole smorgasbord of a system that helps you make and store your own baby food. you can even make organic sh!t. its actually pretty friggin cute/cool. I actually stayed up and watched 17 minutes of it, til I dozed off.
btw. smorgasbord is in my spell check, random.
naturally I spelled it wrong and surprisingly spell check flagged my illiterate @ss and corrected me.
good catch spell check. you actually might have the better and more responsible qualities to become a better parent than me.
click for more info: baby bullet