Thursday, August 26, 2010

banana republic delicate "hanging" beads necklace

good morning! I hate everyone. :)

I texted this to a buddy today. it’s the culmination of how the last 3 hours (how long ive been awake today) has gone. obviously, i know these symptoms of putrid hatred im feeling today are as a result of a medical condition. but hey, I cant f*cking help it. someone cure me of my pms disease. or as I would put it, a disease called being a girl!!


I literally wanna shoot myself. or the more dramatical way of exiting this world, hanging. what better and prettier way to do this act of drama, than with a pretty necklace? seriously that’s the 1st thought I had when I did my daily morning online shopping rounds (normal people read the morning paper. I online shop). I was like, “hey this would make for a nice and pretty hanging noose device.” god. im a sicko.

alright I’ll end the misery. someone get me a midol.

ps: don’t worry. im not going to harm myself. I have waaay to much to live for. like my upcoming fantasy football drafts on sept 1st.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

pop deluxe hare and "rarely" comb

hare and comb. da-dum-chum.

gotta love puns. un-funny [dorky] people need to thank their lucky [dull] & [dim] stars for the invention of puns. w/o them they would just have nothing. at least if they zing a pun, its like awww, the dork tried to make a funny. da-dum-chum fail.

so I finally read the description of this hare and comb product thinking is for grown ups. nope. its for kids.

not that I would ever buy, since I haven’t combed my hair since 1995. tho it would make for cute décor in my matchbox apartment.

ps: to prove that im a funny person. I tried to think of a pun to use in this post, and could not.

reminder: only unfunny [dorky] people use puns.

click for more info: pop deluxe hare and comb set

marc by marc jacobs happy dot mabel "whore" bag

I want!

miserable rainy weather in nyc this week and its cold (a freeeeeezing 66 degrees) and the days are getting shorter, das boot!

also im pms-ing. shocker. like: go. f*ck. yourself.

so happy dot mabel baggy (aside from a bacon swiss mushroom sautéed onion cheeseburger w/platter of disco steak fries w/extra gravy) would just about make me the most enormously happiest human alive right about now.

anywho. how cute is mabel? perfect for cold rainy days like today, just brings a smile to my face. (the aforementioned cheeseburger deluxe meal would bring a huge-er smile, to the point my face will cramp. no biggie. at least that proves to ya’lls I aint on the botox and can move my mug.)

honestly I’ll tell you. [preach sista!] anything branded marc jacobs brings a smile to my face. like a toilet bowl brush branded marc by marc jacobs would make me gleeeeee. im sure ive written this before. but I just cant express to you enough my love for mj.

ps: today im wearing a marc by marc jacobs dress as I toddle around nyc in the rain w/my marc by marc jacobs umbrella and my marc by marc jacobs tote bag. talk about being a marc by marc jacobs [prostitution] whore. thatsa me!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

lacoste peanuts "checked out" polo collection

and the red baron lives on!

well courtesy of the uber pretty label lacoste, snoopy and his pals are celebrating their 60th anniversary in style. wow, btw, snoopy’s in great shape being a 420 [hehe] year old pup) in style.

my only dig on this trip down [snoop] doggy nostalgia way, where are the chicks from the peanut [gallery] gang? [york] peppermint patty? lucy? I mean even the a fleet of woodstocks get their own tee atop the croc, but the chicks get squat? I can just hear all the feminists gettin all up in a tizzy about this.

im down to burn some bras to get pp and lucy onto a lacoste polo. I got some old training bras from back in the day (which all still fit me, sadly) I can throw into the bonfire.

ps: I feel like this post could’ve been funnier/more entertaining. I mean it had potential. you got the peanuts gang and uber chic lacoste as topics of discussion, and all I could [gudens] mustard is that loppy post above? listen, I literally wrote this sh!t in like 5 minutes. literally verbal diarrhea. it’s the tail end of the day and week, im checked out. I aint re-reading/editing sh!t anymore.

pps: tho ive been checked out since 9:15am on Monday, August 9th, 2010. im even too checked out to find another excuse why this post sucks. so f*ckin suck it.

click for more info: lacoste peanuts polo collection

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

georgia bulldog pet cheer "obese" dress

well isn’t this fitting. a bulldog rocking a georgia bulldog cheerleader outfit.

speaking of fitting. how about those unfortunate dogs that are built like linebackers? (ie: great danes, labs, or just really obese bulldogs). I mean a medium fits 14” – 18”, so for those pooches sizes L and up, youre sh!t outta luck.

tho. seeing a humongo pooch in a cheer skirt would be like seeing a drag queen in one of these pixy outfits. pretty dang hilarious. I must say, the bully dog modeling this little ditty is pretty fn hysterical lookin, I must say.

however, with closer inspection, seems like the outfit is photoshopped on. at least they didn’t forget to put the poor meatball’s head back on after all the cropping/retouching. tho he seems to be missing a hind leg. that or he just doesn’t have one. listen this aint victoria’s secret catalogue, where they hire the top-est notch-est retouchers. this sh!t was prob done by some summer intern getting paid jack sh!t.

arf. arf.

click for more info: Georgia bulldog pet cheer dress

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

angry little girl speak "pulp" well tee

dude. if 1 more @sshole asks me at the laundromat “do you work here?” im gonna beat them to a silly f*cking pulp. so severe of a silly f*cking pulp, your jaw will be wired shut sooo tight, you cant even sip oj pulp from a straw.

racist b@stards. oh and for good measure, I’ll shove dry cleaning sheets up your @ss. so you can do the world a favor and make your farts it smell downy fresh. we don’t need your stereotypin @ss polluting our air quality too.

so this tee kinda sums up my feelings re: the above situation.

angry little girls why you "suffer" waste money?! wallet

since when did my momma dearest get an endorsement deal with angry little girls?

I guess for all the pain in the @ss suffering she’s endured raising my raging menstrual/money wasting @ss, she deserves to make some dough off my anger/shopping debt problem.

wtf. I want an endorsement deal for all the pain and suffering I'm dealing with being me!!

fred "beaker" fingerfood

*don’t try this at home*

but this maybe a coke snortin b!tch’s best friend (like bff). its like a traveling table/flat surface. too bad it doesn’t come in a mirror finish.

im just sayin…

note: in absolute no way do I endorse any illegal substance abuse [festivus] activities. especially activities that involve putting sh!t up yo beaker.

click for more info: fred fingerfood

angry little girls budget "rollover" love tee

(and she adds under her breath) “and I still have 8,900 unused rollover minutes.”

death to boys!

ps: the loser boy is wearin a white wife beater. I would never give that punk my digits! only I (me) is allowed to wear the wife beaters in this relationship.

angry little girls weenies should be "deep" fried

boys are stupid. boys are gross. as a result their weenies should get fried. like deep fried corn dogs in some scathing canola oil (hold the mustard).

then maybe they can grow a real brain (aside from the duo of brains housed near/down under their weenie). amazballs how a boy can have 3 “brains” and still be as f*cking ret@rd clueless.

ps: just got my period. like my --------------------> .
(no thats not a dot of dust on your computer screen stoopid.

pps: its annihilate anything with a weenie day.

ppps (and special note): boys beware of this bleepin beefin b!tch. bring me a beer or I’ll boffin beat your big @ss butt, boy.

yuck fou!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

angry little girls i "100%" hate people print

this is me. 24/7. 365 days a week. all day, all night, any day.
this lil asian gal embodies my feelings towards humans 100%. she is me. I am her. we are one.

angry. lil. asian. girl(s).

we hate people. so you best get to steppin. or we’ll dish a good tongue thrashin. is my newest fave website. the quotes by angry kim are like my life’s biography.

so get to know me. check out the site. and I mean now.

get to steppin!