Tuesday, May 25, 2010

simple shoes mens flippee recycled pet sandals











flippeeeeee!

he’s made of recycled soda bottles and paper and biodegradable. sounds like my kinda hunka hunka dream man.

sorry I got nuttin.

however these do look quite comfy, sole looks like your walkin on egg crates. you get it………instead of egg shells?

sorry. that’s what you get when you try to eek out humor.

I’ll take a lunch break.


simple shoes satire polka dot ribbon sneakers











im obsessed with polka dots. I even sometimes think chicken pox is cute. (I know ewe, gross you nasty b!otch.)

this sneaker is no exception with its polkie dottie laces. also the fact its made from recycled materials (including the shoebox it comes in) and its vegan (no aminals were harmed/used in the birth of this sneakers). its like the air jordans for tree huggers and aminal rights peeps.

even cooler, the bottom sole is made of recycled car tires. so when this sloth [me] attempts to run in these sneaks, I can literally “burn rubber”, or at least [reeeeeally] try to.

ps: that will be my only attempt at a pun. I swear. im even embarrassed for myself re-reading that well crafted corny piece of…………..

poop.


soia & kyo tiffanie jacket











for some reason when you google soia kyo, the warning above poops up. some reason cant access the site.
ok but seriously, im more concerned what harm soia & kyo would do to my bank account. I mean screw my computer.

so like the headstrong shopper that I am, got around this little obstacle and accessed the website [motherland]. this, so to just torture myself as I sit at my desk itching to go to the soia & kyo sample sale that’s happening (as I type with a scowl) 17 blocks from this god forsaken place called work. today is the last day of the sale. b.t.w…

my girl from high school jenny jen, aka jenny from the block, aka jennifer, aka [just] jen (a fellow soia & kyo obsessee/lifetime soia & kyo cult member) bravely visited the cash only accepting sample sale and made out like smokey the bandit. she got 2 jackets for like a steeeeeeeal (I wont divulge what she paid cause it pains me to see how cheap she got em. wah).

since I barely can make a withdrawal from my bank account (as of today’s balance $7.22) im stuck in destitute [loser island] as this sale passes me by [sigh]. as jenny jen was giving me play by play highlights on the merchandise up for sale, low and behold as im bloggy bloggin about this beauty of a jacket named tiffanie (not to be mistaken by the former teeny bopper sensation), she tells me this was one of em on sale…

like f.m.l.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its fate. I must go on a crusade to this sample sale. it would be against my cult-ural beliefs if I didn’t go.

click for more info: soia & kyo tiffanie jacket

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

kaskade dynasty





I love this guy. every time I listen to his beats, I feel like im at the beach.

which, i.m.o. (for you acronym impaired people: in my opinion) the beach is the happiest and most peaceful place in the world for me (besides bloomingdales).

so the dynasty is his new album. title doesn’t sound so beachy, but the album is dang f*cking peachy. looooves it!

click for more info: kaskade dynasty

crazy crayons recycled crayon sticks set of 18









haven’t you wondered where the nubbins of your broken crayons went?
or those old worn down ones, with no more point to them (who uses that dang sharpener on the back of the box anyways)?

crayon graveyard?
crayola crayon retirement home?
consumed by your baby brother?

nope. they end up seeking refuge at the national crayon recycle program (no joke). its like rehab for crayons. they come here all f*cked up. only to get all spruced up and reshaped, then leave all fresh and rejuvenated (and hopefully sober) ready to be used my society.

best part: comes in a 100% biodegradable gift box.

bestest part: proceeds from each box of crayons help employ people with developmental disabilities.


na zdorovye vodka drinking game











got all excited discovering a new wonderful (looking) drinking game, except when I read the fine print: “vodka not included”

my day is ruined…

ruined…

ps: reminds me of a drinking dreidel game I once played in college. however, I don't recall the rules. maybe because there were no rules, we just drank no matter the result of the dreidel twirl.

ingenious game I must say. oh college...

click for more info: na zdorovye vodka drinking game

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

little twin stars perfume




wowee. talk about a blast from the past. just when I thought the likes of kero kero keroppi, tuxedo sam, and my melody were extinct, they bring back the little twin stars. god to be 8 years old again.

btw. I had no idea these twins individually had names (kiki and lala. and I have no idea which one is which and too lazy to decipher). always thought they were just one thing, one personality = the little twin stars. bet the twins association of america would accuse me of twin stereotyping and protest against my blog for assuming these twins were the same being/person/thing/etc... “what do we want, separate identities, when do we want it, now!”

listen ive been hearing this protest sh!t from my 2nd personality for years.
all I hear is: “whine whine whine. wah wah wah I wanna be my own person, whys do I gots to share you with me?”
and I says: “shut it and deal with it. you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life. theres no way out. tough [tig ole] titties “

as you just witnessed and argument between me and myself. “i” decided to stay out of it.

*well that post just took a turn for the weird. sorry. that’s what multiple personalities would do to you. however, this probably explains why my blog is so gosh dang funny and wildly entertaining. its literally written by “three” people. aka, my own entourage.

click for more info: little twin stars perfume

urban outfitters the butt station









I cant do the item description any justice. so im just gonna shut my pie hole and paste what the website writer’s brilliant prose on this fantastical item:

This really puts the "ass" in "businass!" Um, the Butt Station is perfect for any desk, keeping you smiling and organized! Includes a tape dispenser with metal cutter, pen and business card holders and a toilet paper clip compartment with magnetic butt for easy retrieval. Imported. Wipe clean.


jack johnson to the sea







if there was an adult lullaby-er that would be good ole jack johnson. his songs are just sooo joe cool. when I need to feel zen and decompress from fighting b!tches on the subways of nyc or screaming at pervs at my gym to stop following/leering at me, I just pop in some j.j. tunes and all is well.

screw conventional “reaching zen” methods such as yoga and meditation. all yous need is some jack johnson, and possibly a cocktail or 2 and possibly a xanax.

buy his new album! if you don’t, I will lay some zen buddha “do you smell what the rock is cookin” smack down on yo candy @ss.

ok, think its time to tune into some j.j.

click for more info: jack johnson to the sea