Friday, February 26, 2010

fruity cuties berry "bumbledf*ck" rude tee





I think it's berry rude that the weather gods forgot to turn off their snowmaking machine before they headed off for
vacation.

cause the blizzard they have now caused in the northeast is f*cking ridiculous. I'm a little more than normally pissed cause I gotta drive up to syracuse to watch this epic nova/cuse game tomorrow night.

gooooo cuse!

fun f*cking times. my luck I'll get stuck in the middle of bumbledf*ck upstate new york in neck high snow.

as long as the bumbledf*ck town has alcohol I'm good. I'll just have to get rip roaring drunk. I mean, that's the most essential survival skill you need to know during the winter time in upstate.

how else you think I survived 4 years in the frozen tundra called syracuse university?

click for more info: fruity cuties berry rude tee

essie "not" matte about you





if you're not a glossy person, there is now a way to make your nail polish world more matte.

matte about you from essie.

gotta love the names these nail polishes get. I think humans should start naming their kids like "red nouveau" or "alligator purse". I mean I look at my address book and I have like 9 mikes, 8 robs and like 20 don't answers.

let's start gettin more creative with baby names people! take a tip from the jolie-pitt clan. brangelina thought of some groovy nombres.

ps: no need to explain the "don't answer" part. I assume the human race that's reading this blog is smart enough to figure that one out...

click for more info: essie matte about you

dear "hot" john original motion picture soundtrack





I probably shouldve posted this right after watching this movie 2 weeks ago.

cause the rawness I literally felt when I was about to explode sitting in the movie theater, watching the insane hotness of channing tatum.

talk about holy hotness. caliente! en fuego! (if I spoke another language I could keep goin...)

movie was eh. but 99% of the reason to watch this is mr. tatum. I felt like a hormonal pubescent 13 year old with braces clutching for dear life my tiger beat magazine, screaming in elation on the hotness of chan (I've contributed my $9 to watch this movie, hence helping pay his salary. we're now tight like that were I can call him chan).

well if he weren't married we could be tighter. ya kno what I mean...?

anywho. I digress from my hormonal high. the movie soundtrack is pretty good. you would think with all my rage issues I'd be a huge fan of like marilyn manson or rage against the machine. on the contrary. I like that singer songwriter stuff, where they song music tapping their barefoot to the groubd and sitting indian style strumming an acoustic guitar. loves it.

fave song is the duet with joshua radin and schulyer fisk, paperweight.

yes. my taste of music is like the store anthropologie. only way I can describe it. loves it.

don't judge.


Friday, February 19, 2010

fruity cuties pressure to cornform "power" tee





dare to be different little kernel. dare to be different.

those popped popcorn [sorority] b!tches will get eaten first. no one likes to eat a kernel, unless they want to break a tooth and a ticket to the dentist office.

you are a strong my child. you have the power. use it wisely.

may the schwartz be with you.


syracuse beat 'nova "good" game day tee





ok. let's discuss the cuse/hoya game last nite. I almost went into cardiac arrest with that almost meltdown by my orange. I literally had bologna shaped sweat marks under my armpits I was sweating sooo bad.

good news. we pulled that game off. thanks to our 90% free throw shooting. I must say, that is what really what saved us down the stretch especially with our 2 big guys onuaku and jackson fouling out. actually, that mightve been a blessing cause they are both pretty f*ckin bad at shooting free throws. a la the shaq. however, I still love ya arinze and rick. yous the [big] mans!

gooder news. the victory put us #1 in the big east, in front of villanova (boo).

goodest news. I got tix to the villanova (boo) vs cuse game next saturday! yeeeea booooy. I'll be one of the 34,616 [drunk] orange crazies in attendance for this historic record breaking game.

goodiest news. I already got my t-shirt on. purch@ssed this tee, which I will proudly be rocking from my ridiculously expensive nosebleed seats at the carrier dome on saturday, february 27, 2010 @ 9:00pm EST. tune into ESPN. game will be televised on prime time. and maybe they'll even get a shot of my drunk @ss tryin to storm the court from the upper deck 'bleeds.

now that might make for good television (or youtube).

gooooo cuuse. ima comin next weekend, you frozen b!tches! stock up your liquor [jack daniels].

ps: goodiestiest news. it's friday! and my motor mouth neighbor is out today. there is a higher being [jim boeheim].


Thursday, February 18, 2010

uhhh...happy 1 year anniversary?

          
wow. talk about almost missing my own anniversary.

currently watching the cuse/georgetown game. im actually more concerned that the cuse does not have a melt down and blow this big lead with a little under 10 minutes to go in the game than me *almost forgetting the 1 year anniversary of me giving birth to this shopping out loud blog.

1 year til this day, february 18, 2010 i decided to fill bored space and time at work by blogging about my most favorite hobby (other than watching syracuse basketball) in the world. shopping.

1 year later im still in huge debt. tho not as big as the united states ga-trillion dollar deficit. but for normal usual human beings, its a pretty f*cking huge debt.

ok. seriously would like to write more, but i have to concentrate on this game. hoyas making a comeback, and i just turned the channel (in my stupid-stitious mind that also changes the luck of your team if things are going bad).

one last note. im glad i remembered this blessed anniversary in time, or else come tomorrow i wouldve had one big huge @ss sp-lanation and apology to my bloggy on how i was a d!ckface and totally forgot about our anniversary. also probably a trip to tiffanys to purch-@ss one humongous sorry gift as well.

happy 1 year anniversary bloggy. you know i love you like fat kids love big macs.

ok, now back to the game. we'll celebrate later... *wink wink*

goooo cuuuuuuuse.

essie bermuda "sunburnt" shorts nail polish





just lookin at the color of this nail polish puts a [rare] smile to my face. the name of it brings an even [rarer] bigger smile to my mug. bermuda shorts.

loves it!

speakin of bermudans and shorts, the winter olympic contingency from bermuda paraded into the opening ceremonies in their signature bermuda shorts. that definitely brought a huge [almost extinct, so rare] smile to my face.

just goes to show, anything reminiscent of sunshine and hot weather can warm even the ice-iest of b!tchy people.

seriously. it's been winter and snowing here in nyc for so long I forgot how it feels to be in warm weather, let alone what a sunburn feels like. it feels like a f*cking eternity!

I seriously miss being severely sunburnt. that's how bad I hate the cold. boo.

click for more info: essie bermuda shorts

essie winter collection "on sale" mini 4pc nail polish





ok. we go from snowboarding to nail polish. seriously I got no segway. after that epic novel of a marathon post below my brain is deep fried.

however. one theme in common, the whole winter thing. yaay. brain still workin, sorta...

I've been obsessed with this color all winter. mint candy apple. I've seen it in every duane reade in nyc (I got 3 within a 10 block radius of me. make it a point to stop in on all of em to find essie nail polishes on sale). welcome to new york.

however, I avoid buyin it cause I don't wanna spend the full $8 it costs. instead I buy whatever is on sale.

another however. note to self: sometimes sale nail polish (even if it's essie) is not always the bestest color.

example: I bought castaway on sale. put it on last nite in semi terrible lighting. woke up this morning to nails that looked like someone hacked a barbie and she bled bright pink blood all over my nails. that or if you wanna be less morbid, it looks an exact shade of pepto bismol.

lesson learned.

yet another however. color is growing on me. makin me feel girlie. for a change...


burton 2010 us snowboarding team olympic "mcflurry" uniform















if you've been tuning into the olympics, yes the us snowboarding team is wearing plaid and denim. for serious. how american can you get. it's so paul bunyan, if only they wore overalls outside the jackets that wouldve been d-o-p-e.

for those of you who are wondering, the denim is not really "denim". you can stop worrying how they board with wet denim. it's actually gore tex. w-o-r-d.

anywho...

sooo stoked for the flying tomato last nite (aka shaun white). sick runs on the halfpipe in his quest for 2nd straight gold medal. congrats bro.

I just soo sounded like a wannabe so-cal dude. thought it was appropriate for the aforementioned content of this blog. (did that even make any sense?)

btw. that double [mcflurry] mctwist 1260 he "threw" in during his 2nd final run was absolutely sick. he makes chubby checkers look like a weenie with all the twists and flips with that ridiculous manuever.

with this victory by the tomato, he must be bequeathed the title of best snowboarder eva. like this gold has launched him into michael jordan/jackson stratusphere, or even beyond.

and the dudes only 23.

further proof. start your kids early in sports. goin to korean school or piano lessons won't get your kids far. only gets you here, sitting on a trading desk for an annoying european bank, stuck next to this rambling [won't shut the f*ck up] motormouth person and filling up space and time blogging to you wonderful people on my phone. (all the while, stone cold sober. btw and unfortunately...)

which another btw. the same person has walked by me like 5 times since I started typing this blog on my phone. obviously, im not doin real "work" and I'm really making no effort whatsoever to hide it. hopefully this person doesn't have the power to fire me cause that would suck @ss. rent is due next week. pooty.

ok. now I am rambling. I swear I'll bring it home now and shut the f*ck up for a sec.

congrats again flying tomatoe!


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

nike bauer "taco" supreme one95 skates





who knew nike and bauer joined [armed] forces and are producing hockey gear. awesome!

if only nike and marc jacobs joined forces and made dope athletic gear and footwear would I die of sheer happiness. my heart literally went pitter patter and skipped a beat at the notion of this blessed merger.

someone get that defribulator ready for me if or when this happens. ima gonna need it.

clear!

click for more info: nike bauer supreme one95 skates

burton men's ruler "steel" boots











dude. these are like the nike air maxes of the snowboarding boot world. they got that air cushioning for extra padding for when you're landing that 2080 degree helicopter jump.

I on the other hand will be landing splat on my egg nog noggin. I'll need a good helmet, one made preferably outta steel and cushioned with that memory foam sh!t they make mattresses with.

wakie da fakie!

huh? sorry. dunno where that came from...

click for more info: burton men’s ruler boots

burton high cascade "bubblegum" shred backpack





this backpack looks straight outta an episode of saved by the bell.

for all you saved by the bell obsessed crazies like me, doesn't it look like a schmorgesboard of the cheesey fluorescent themed opening credits? (just got a flashback of ac slater in a pineapple bra. lol).

I loooove bubblegum poop culture!

zack attack rulez.

correction: upon further review from the instant replay booth, it was stoopid screech that donned the [dole] pineapple bro-ssiere. eek. gross [baby got] flash-back.


burton white collection womens weekend jacket








oh it's on like donkey kong. I'm going a little ape sh!t on this burton website today in anticipation watching the "flying tomato" [juice] shaun white tonight rippin up the half pipe in his olympic debut.

yes. I downloaded the olympic app for my iphone. I know everything winter olympic and now apparently everything canada. ay!

seriously tho. I gave this real good thought. if you're gonna look like a total herb on the [bunny] slopes falling every 5 seconds while 9 year olds are whizzing by you on their boards doing board grabs and air to fakies, might as well have nice gear on and look good.

however. now with much more seriouser thought, not true. i remember poking fun at this total tool who we played football with. the guy couldn't catch the ball even if it was the size of an elephants gonads. I mean total spaz-ola.

but the fact that he was decked head to toe in his nike gear (btw. seemed like never used. pristinely brand new.) and cool receiever gloves (again. looked like they've never touched a football. or any sorta balls) made him look even more of a jack @ss.

wait. and now we're talkin about me...

so the more I gab about this wannabe footballer jack @ss, the more I seem like the bigger tool bag tryin to board in my hot new 686 gear, meanwhile I can't even get off the chairlift without face planting to the ground.

again. labeling ego boost. cause I just about made myself cry. I'm about to get a one way ticket to loser-ville and go hang out with d-list celebrities like my homeboy k-fed and speidi.


burton malolo "hipster" snowboard

















sooo addicted to the winter olympics it's sad. I'm officially an olympic dork. to qualify for this sports nerd distinction, I stayed home all this long weekend and watched the morning and primetime olympic coverage. like wall to wall (even watched curling on msnbc) and even the late night coverage which included highlights from the morning and primetime (which I've already watched. just stating the obvious for the non-geniuses)

maybe cuz I suck at winter sports that I make up for it by watching it. I'm not a snowboarder at all. but I'm sucha wannabe boarder, like a f*cking poser (gasp). like I buy all the cool gear and sh!t but end up going like once a year. but I talk like i'm some cool boarder with my cool gear, but in reality I barely make it down the bunny slope without eating the snow laden ground at least once. yes. I'm a snowboard hipster. or if i must say, just a tool.

permission to hate me all you real snowboarders. I totally jumped on the boader bandywagon.

however, I'm labeling this as ego boost. no one can argue with me. my own ego just got crushed on by yours truly so I need some moral support from my own blog.

ps: dude these boards are sick. if I really were a snowboarder, I'd buy all these boards in every single color. kinda how I shop at the gap. I buy every single favortie tee or tank top in every single color. addiction problem, much?

pps: the cartoon dude on this board just gives off this vibe that makes me wanna smoke some weed-y. addiction problem, much?

mmm. green puff puff pass...

sigh.

click for more info: burton malolo snowboard

Thursday, February 11, 2010

alice + olivia for keds sequin champion "80's" sneakers





after that beautiful blizzard that blanketed the northeast yesterday, I'm only accepting warm weather forecasts from now on. none of this frosty winter weather bullsh!t.

so in the spirit of spring 2010, I find out the smashing stacey bendt of the awesome alica + olivia announced a new line of too kewl keds sneakers.

these stunning sequined kicks are a jazzed up version of what we 80's kids used to rigorously rock back in the days.

as with all "vintage" and "retro" things, they must make a comeback or be remade. and aparently 80's is still in. or has it ever been out?

I am an 80's kid. to qualify for such a distinguished honor, one mustve owned the following items:

-slap bracelet
-hypercolored tshirt
-bartman or aye caramba simpsons tshirt
-pair of white keds
-fluorescent slouch socks
-trapper keeper
-scunchie
-can of aquanet
-lisa frank stickers
-rolled up denim shorts
-friendship bracelets
-starter jacket

my brain practically exploded during that stroll down memory lane. gosh im old.

I'm now gonna crawl into a corner and cry.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

banner supply co boston red sox shamrock "pox" cap





its like the cap has irish chicken pox. hehe.

think the banner supply website is new so still some kinks in it. but gotta tell ya. loves their sh!t. sooo retro.


banner supply co brooklyn dodgers "spring?" scrum tee





less than 2 weeks away from pitchers and catchers reporting for spring training dooty.

which means we're hopefully closer to spring, which means hopefully closer to warmer weather.

I mean. that's what usually happens?

oh wait. news f*cking flash:

the northeast is about to get hit with some holy nor'easter sh!t storm tonight. with all the premature school closings (nyc public schools closed tomorrow. that never f*cking happens!) cancellation of flights, I mean seems like the northeast is preparing for the end of the f*cking world. it's like a massive freeeak out. ahhhh!!

jesus. it's only snow. its little white fluffy matter made from h20 and a lil bit of coldness.

I mean people from antarctica and siberia must be pointing fingers and lol-ing at the wussy northeasterners freaking out on some measley 20" of snow.

seriously people. deal with it. it's not that f*cking serious.

I'm more freaking out that it's not warming up enough for me to wear a short sleeve tee (like this above) outside without risking life and limb (literally) via frostbite.

groundhog. you're gonna die.

let's go mets!


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

manolo blahnik vine ankle wrap thong "g'hog" sandal








screw you puxelmolatony groundhog. you're not even worth me looking up how to spell your name correctly. because of you, we've been cursed with 6 more weeks if hell bent freezing f*cking winter cold.

I hate you g'hog!

sooo. in order to pump positive and happy [non-violent] thoughts into my head I'm starting to shop for the new pretty bright spring collection stuff (ie: shoe above). tho that may cause me [heaven forbid] to buy something at the full retail price. it's all worth it. why?

why you ask?: for the sake of human beings (especially those who have to deal with me in close proximity at a daily basis) I need to keep pumpin springy happy thoughts into my head. if not I may go ape sh!t and purchase a sawed off shot gun from annie oakley's illegitimate great grandkid. then go huntin in the prarie fields of pennsyltuckey to shoot to kill this shadow fearing sucker f*cker of a g'hog.

be vewy vewy quiet. I'm huntin [wabbits] gwoundhwogs.

click for more info: manolo blahnik vine ankle wrap thong sandal

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

rachel pally long cutout "momma" dress









this is the next stalking victim in queue after i'm done stalking the dress below.

lookin at this makes me want to crawl into bed. well wouldn't mind crawling into a bed in one of oprah's sprawling houses. I mean the thread count on a bedsheets in one of the big o's guest room beds must be astronomical. like infinity x 100 thread count. that = sleeping on a cloud of cashmere. ugh. so luuuuxrious.

only oprah...

instead, tonight i'll be crawling into my barely full size bed with 200 thread count martha stewart living flannel bed sheets, bought on sale by my momma at macys.

bought with love from mom. nuttin better than that. :)

yea. just say it aww. didn't know the heartless b!tch of an author of this blog can be so sappy.

only when I talk about my momma. if you got a problem with that, I'll break your face.

:)

click for more info: rachel pally long cutout dress

rachel pally two tone "stalker" halter dress











I own a couple rachel pally pieces. I swear when you put one on it's like sleeping in the most comfortable cashmere bed sheet ever. like you don't wanna wake up/get outta bed comfort.

no wonder oprah loves her. think my adopted momma oprah once bought rach's whole collection after being featured in her favorite things show (I'm sure she can afford that).

I only can afford ms. pally's gams on sale at blommingdales. and good deals I must say I've gotten.

yes. I'm a nationally top ranked professional shopper. I'm that good. well I'm also good at stalking things I want to death (or until they go on sale).

this gal (above) is my next stalking victim.


meira t "i love me" diamond heart bracelet





and if I loved me as much as I loved me, I would march into the nearest bloomingales (59th/60th street and lexington ave) and get me the matching bracelet (above).

I love that valentines day is also a day we celebrating loving yourself.

so gosh dang empowering.

I'm actually starting to like his wretched holiday in honor of saint valentines.

I love me!

click for more info: meira t diamond heart bracelet2

meira t diamond love me[self] necklace





so l just had an epiphany. not the biggest one of my life, but still an epiphany...

it's t-minus 12 days until the always dreaded valentines day. men hate it cause they have [forced] to be all mushy and [forced] to get their stoopid girlfriends mushy gifts or even worse, the ever [forced] and [dreaded] purchase: the engagement ring.

dun. dun. duuuuunn...

girls hate it cause about 86% of the female population that is single wants to just hang themselves. the rest live in a gopher hole in the state of indiana and have no notion of the sensationalized commercialization of valentines day and how it's supposed to celebrate "love."

like barf in my mouf.

anywho. as much as I'm a hater of this wretched holiday (obvious) I still am a big believer of receiving jewelry on this wretchedly [red] lovefest of a holiday. meaning me being the recipient (like duh).

the buyer can be anyone. me, myself and I are all qualified buyers. as long as things like this necklace end up on my pertty dainty [goose] neck on february 14th, then I don't give a dang.

love me[self] love me[self], say that you love meeee[self]...

click for more info: meira t diamond love necklace