Tuesday, October 27, 2009

crate & barrel "missing" flatware stockings


i know. its only october. its not even halloweenie yet. but i cant help it. im on the mailing list for every gosh dang catalog in this universe. like for serious. and i get a catalog for every season, the worse being christmas cause them b!tches can come as large as a freakin atlas. like my poor mailbox is busting at the seams (squished amongst my mountain-ous bills and the occasional chinese food menu). im sure its not by accident these catalog people have my address. just shows the severity of my shopping problem. (severe).

so tis the season now for christmas catalogs. thumbing through the crate's holiday edition, its like 20lbs of glitter and an obese elf and blew up on it. all sorta green/red stuff and ornaments drip amongst the catalog pages. so of course the most kitchy-est of things catches my attention. these little santa booties for your flatware. how f*cking cute!? yes. im a f*cking cornball. sue me.

at least when i set myself my own table before my three square meals daily [chinese food, chinese food, chinese food] my plastic utensils will get a classier look/touch with these flatware booties. dude. i dont do dishes. plus i have like 1 fork left, since either a gnome breaks into my apartment in the middle of the night and steals them one by one, or they just feel like disappearing. its like the myserious case of missing socks during laundry. like where do they all go?

apparently some sorta f*cking twilight zone i havent been to. well, yet.

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